The brilliant television show Modern Family is a crowd favorite in our office, but not only is it funny and thoughtful, its so true! Today’s family is diverse, mixed and special. Every combination, every relative and every scenario is unique. This becomes relevant when we discuss the ceremony processional with our couples. Who will escort grandma? Who will accompany the mother of the groom? Who will be seated in the front row and next to who? Who will give away the bride? With today’s modern family combinations, the answers are endless and completely up to the couple. However, the most sensitive question we often get is how to incorporate and respect both the bride’s father and step father. In light of Father’s Day, here are a few ideas to be sure each man in your life gets the honor he deserves.
Who gives this bride away?
Most fathers dream about the day he gets to escort his beautiful daughter down the aisle. Some may argue its his birth right. We suggest asking yourself who has been your biggest supporter and fan prior to the man you’re about to marry? Is it your step father, but you cannot imagine taking away your father’s birth right? Share the responsibility. Perhaps your father begins the walk and your step father finishes, or your father escorts you down the aisle, but both your father and step father present you to your future husband. You may also consider having both your father and step father escort you down the aisle if the relationship is good.
I now present to you!
The grand entrance is a wonderful place to show appreciation and excitement for those in your life. Although its common to just introduce the wedding party, why not include all sets of parents.
May I have this dance?
If both your father and step father are present in your life, dance with both! Pick a different song for each that best represents your relationships. For instance you may select “I Loved Her First” by Heartland for your father and “Kind and Generous” by Natalie Merchant for your step father. Keep the dances short so it doesn’t drag on, but this is sure to honor both men equally.
Please raise your glass!
If you decide to give your father the honor of escorting you down the aisle, offer your step father a chance to say a few words at the reception, or rehearsal dinner. Better yet, offer him a chance to do a reading at the ceremony or present the rings.
Sometimes a grandfather, uncle or brother play a significant role in your life. Make the time to personally thank them for their love and guidance. You may not need to do anything in particular on your wedding day, but if there is an opportunity to leave a note in their welcome bag or give thanks in your speech at the rehearsal dinner please do so. A family is a special commodity, share your love and appreciation the best way you know how.
We send lots of love and thanks to our fathers this Sunday! Happy Father’s Day!